I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
