If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
