God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
My vagina is very pro this idea
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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