He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
please come you make the beer taste better
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Randomize