Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
