when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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