We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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