Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
