Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
high people should be assigned attendants
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
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