Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
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