at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
