C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
