i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
