Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
