I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
