Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
And then my night got REAL pukey
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
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