theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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