No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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