After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
