My friends, they love my intelligence
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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