how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
This is the high leading the old right now
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Randomize
