so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
