I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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