Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
This baby is an asshole
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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