Me too!
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
