Jerry, you need to find god
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Randomize
