I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
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