there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
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