Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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