i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Just invented taco cereal.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
did you just send me my own nude
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
