i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize