There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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