From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
