Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
