P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize