I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Randomize
