I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
My hand turned me down
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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