are you still at the devil's house?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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