I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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