just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
