Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
