mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize