then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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