the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Randomize
