oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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