First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
