Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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