i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
And then the night went full on bisexual.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
