I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
