Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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