And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
