Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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