she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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