Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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