Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
im drinking this country out of the recession.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize