I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
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