I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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