Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
