She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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