thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
