I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
