who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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