The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
He better not be in your backpack
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
