I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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