Yo dont text me then not text me
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
